Rock dads

My singer, Joe Sweet was recently interviewed by the Utica Newspaper - http://www.uticaod.com/homepage/x903585837/Local-musicians-find-balance-between-performing-fatherhood

It is an article about rocker dads. Joe's son Angelo is only a 5 or 6 months old and their first time away from each other for any significant length of time was recently when we went to Michigan for a couple days.

I remember the fear. Driving home from the hospital I thought I was going to have a panic attack watching my infant son's newborn head bobble back and forth after every bump in the road. "We don't have enough experience! How are we going to do this?" I thought. I can remember waking up in the middle of the night trembling, worried about all the dark media stories like SIDS and walking into Collin's bedroom just to check and see if he was breathing.

Man, what a nervous wuss I was. Eventually, the child grew and continues to grow and shape all of our lives. We adapt just as he does only it's much different as a child. You just don't understand the rules; especially WHY there are even rules at all. Patience is something I thought was one of my fortes. I'm still learning it. I have an awesome son, yet I sometimes find myself walking out of the room to avoid a blowout. Smart. Then sometimes I snap and yell at him. Dumb. I'm learning. So is he. He's going to be alright. He's very smart and I'm sure he gets frustrated when he can't fully communicate what he needs or wants so he'll lash out in the form of throwing things, screaming, maybe even hitting. I don't understand the hitting part but I'm told it's normal and it will pass. Don't get me wrong here, he's not violent. He'll just kind of slap you like you'd slap someone on the back ('hey what's up buddy') yet he'll end up scraping your eyelid scaring the shit out of you!

Anyway, reading the article made me think about my role or multiple roles in this life. I, like many men, have some great responsibility! I need to continue the path I'm on and see all these great things through to fruition. All these things include my marriage, my parenthood, my musicianship and my band.

A musician's day can be spent on the phone and computer corresponding with media and/or fans, booking shows, planning tours, paying bills, preparing budgets, designing websites and graphics, editing recordings and videos, designing posters and flyers and any number of multi-tasking skills that many people with "real jobs" wouldn't be expected to do. All this while juggling the spazz-attack child(ren) bouncing off the walls and demanding your attention while ruining the nice clean floor you just mopped 3 times in one day. It is definitely convenient to be a musician in a rock band. Our work days are at night allowing us to be there during the day. In the fall we are planning weekend runs so it will be a little tougher - 3 or 4 days gone and 3 or 4 days home. It will be a new adjustment for us but it's a fantastic plan. Now, remember my kid isn't quite an infant anymore - he has some independence and he demands it! It's hard to balance it all out. I realize that sometimes I have to stop working and get on the floor and get nuts with him a little...get outside...let him be a kid and be around other kids.

It's not always about partying your face off living the dream in a tour bus and being the center of attention and ending up in rehab (sounds fun though huh?). Touring is a nice break and it really is what we all desire. The drawback is missing your family when your gone. Then again, we miss the road when we're home - Catch 22 (I'll have to read that book someday).

Kenny and Kris have been at this longer than I have and they both have two kids.

But you all know that we really joined a band to get chicks right?